Schwanzvergleich Sticker – Test Winner in Mankind's Oldest Contest
The oldest competition in human history finally has an official testing authority: Stiftung Schwanztest. This cheeky sticker mimics the deceptively serious look of Germany's most famous consumer test magazine and awards Testsieger (test winner), SEHR GUT (1,0) – in the discipline "Schwanzvergleich", German for dick measuring contest, tested criterion: biggest one. Issue 2026/27, plus a schematic pictogram that needs no interpretation. Whether the winner deserves the top grade literally or figuratively is up to whoever hands it out. Either way, it's a compliment. Sort of.
Where the award belongs
Stick this decal on the laptop of the friend who needs the last word in every argument. On the locker of the coworker with the biggest ego, the toolbox of the boss who "earned" it, or as an honest bachelor party gift. Equally strong: on the gym water bottle, where measuring contests are part of the training plan anyway, or on the car with the loudest exhaust in the neighborhood. This sticker works as compliment, provocation or self-irony – depending on who sticks it on whom.
Certified quality – big, hard, long-lasting
The material earns its top grade with a straight face: this waterproof vinyl sticker is made of durable adhesive foil with scratch-resistant high-gloss UV coating and survives sun, rain and envious looks. The seal holds – as long as the winner imagines it does.
Features
- Size: 74 x 52 mm
- Use: outdoor – weatherproof
- Material: 90µ adhesive foil
- Colors: 4/0 full color print
- Finish: high-gloss UV coating
Grab the Schwanzvergleich sticker now and end the debate once and for all. Seal on – contest won. Or at least officially claimed.
Sticker-Steckbrief
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